A LONG POST!!!

read only if you think my life thrills you

I HATE EXAMS.

yesterday
before exams, i brokedown, coz i wish i cud leave everything and visit my nenek..

I HATE SEEING MY GRANDMA LYING ON THE BED N I CANT DO ANYTHING AT ALL 2 HELP HER!!

I HOPE SHE GET WELL SOON!!!

NENEK, HANIS SAYANG NENEK!!

I REALLY DO!!

CEPAT BAIK, BOLEH KITA TGK MANJA LARA SAMA SAMA..

ya Allah lindungi nenek aku, semoga operation itu berjalan dengan lancar, semoga nenek cepat sembuh, amin..

ps: the operation will be either on thursday or friday

i love saturdays..

BUT

3 times in a row my saturdays ruined by stupid things...

i woke up with a smile on my face..

i dreamt abt my freaking hot god brother which i truly miss..

a dream thats damn weird but..its ok...forget abt it..willl meet him this weekend..

i really hope so...wakakaka..

met my cousins and went to hospital together...

wen we reach there... felt like cousins gathering...

pics below...

i love them...
siblings...

reach home in time to watch formula one qualifying..
enjoying every mins till i got an unexpected msg from my fren..
but this time my fren became the middleman..
im really fucking mad..
i dont like to bring other ppl to be middleman..
i prefer to settle it on my own..
i gave a nice long sms..
first msg at the wrong time..
and

PLS take note, if wanna pick up a fight with me
check espn or starsport time listing when's f1 n the time..
dun msg or call during formula one qualifying or race!!
coz it will make me really bad tempered..

he got fed up, he called me..
we talked close to 3 hours
well he promise he wont dissed me or anything.. n we are even..
nothing more..
im allowed to blog abt this i guess.. but he cant..
coz i dun dissed him on my blog..
he even admit he was the one to be blame for everything..
he did asked me to record, but i didnt..

he talk to me nicely.. but i was already pissed off..

i shouted like nobody business..

my entire family heard me shouting and scolding him using all the vulgarities i know..

ya he lied to me, he told me his frens complain to him im irritating and all..

i mass send msges to his frens which i keep in contact..

wen he know i send his frens the msges... he replied this, 'i juz bluff u la'...

u r so unpredictable..

yes i am, i juz wan real facts!!

omg... but now, everything is settled..

hope we lead our own life peacefully..

juz treasure the memories and enjoy our new life...

take care...

WHAT I NEED NOW...

check it out below...

i need this...but Dad bought it for his fren..

below is just what i wud like to share with u guys out there..
i hope after this life would be better than ever..
i juz wanna let out everything..

it's been awhile since it's over between me and him..

even tho it's over between us, there are things going on..he and me decided to let it be a secret...

yes we went out together when we got time, just to spend time together..we went swimming, catch a movie,see fireworks and all..

ok thats all...

but now

not a surprise to some who have been speculating this and that, by what's displayed. (the recent fight)

and...
all the while i havent been speaking about it cos some just cant understand and dont know the real deal, and have been thinking i'm the villain here who making things worst. and i just swallow that up, along with those tears and pain he caused. yes he's such an angel, to some..

but no one would believe i have drained myself out trying so hard to clear the misunderstanding and everything thats going on. no one would understand my position. everyone else would rather understand his position rather than mine, cos none of you have ever been in my position dealing the relationship with him..

everyone else has gone thru times and alot of things with him and all, so it's easier to relate to him than me. so let me be the villain, and i dont see a point talking about it anymore. and i realise i cant relate to him. its damn hard. recently he bluff me, till i have to mass send msges to friends to find out the truth. and im going to blame him for the fight occur between my lovergirl n her bf.

he has been an angel yes. let's all just stop at that. but no one will ever know why i have cried some nights in frustration. and i wouldnt even say it.

i have always, tried to keep up a positive attitude about him, and tried very hard to not let anyone know how sad i was, how frustrated i was, how angry and heart broken i was. so no one knew.
to the point i felt that someone just had to assume things. and that i'm the villain. and to top it up, how he would sound like a sweet loving innocent puppy on his blog, just makes me look even more like the villain in this.
and till he dissed me in his blog, plus with the sms that he sent really hurt me. and he called it, his attitude that im experiencing is just the tip of the iceberg. and some still assume things. treating me worst than a criminal.

my heart, broken. and i'm taking every minute i have to fix it.

my faith in LOVE, gone.