I sing this lullaby, forbidden love sitting before my eyes

My heart is screaming although nobody can hear my cries

Wishing on a star as I look into the night

Say a little prayer only God can understand my plight

Glimpses of his sight, flashing in my mind

Although he near the distance seems like a million miles

Somebody told me once that patience is a virtue

And true love is worth waiting for although it might just hurt you

And if it comes right back, that means it's truly destined

I promise to hold back the tears, never say never

And I know you thinking of me all through out your endeavours

And if its part of His plans, one day we'll be together

A few things last forever, so I write this poem

A lot of times, you won't miss it right until it's gone
And though I soldier on, these feelings in my heart...

Will never change cos I loved you from the start...

yes this is what im felt now..

alot of crazy things happening around me...

but all i could say.. i thank god so much for knocking some sense in you...

now you are way better!! and i felt way better now.. and finally, both of us can sleep...

and we both woke up late...gosh!!

and finally, i confess.. i do love you.. but i choose to move on..and let us just be friends...

so, i open a new chapter now...

went out wif lizzie and fred... and fred invite his friend along..aim if im not wrong...

khai got so pissed off i didnt ask him along for karaoke...i asked him to just come and meet me at town...

karaoke, was like da bomb!!!! wakakakakaka... all sort of songs i sang...

its crazy!!!

i cant rap!!! wakakaka...i was like reading!!

wakakaka... wicked!!

after karaoke, we met khai and his sister...

his sister, is real funny girl! second time meeting her..

gosh.. she can mix around with us...

had dinner at bk...

and i dunno how fred can hurt himself..gosh!!

and blood all over...argh!!!

i was like, blood! i juz stand there for like 3 mins..staring..then i started panic..

so i wipe the blood and all...was the cut, and put plaster..and Aim was like..KODAK MOMENT SIA!! SO ROMANTIC...ya right!!!

ps: fred hp, has about 20 plus pics of me!!

wakakakaka..my hp flat..and i cam whore using his and lizzie hp...gosh!

we played pool..and fred was nice enuff to teach me...but i gave up..coz they were like disturbing me and fred...khai paid for it anyway...

and after pool, we wen cheers... and chill for a while before me and lizzie leave..

fred, aim and khai now at east coast..chilling!!

i had fun...

and i know, u didnt expect me to go out with some of them right...

but look, im over it...

yes, wen ppl talk about u and stuff..i will get emotional..

but im over it...
now...i prefer we juz meet if there event and gathering to attend to ok..

lizzie will go to my graduation..and its best.. we need time off..till everything back to normal..

FACEBOOK HATES ME!!

I CANT UPLOAD THE PICS..HAIZ!!!

i asked my friend...
can i be a bird?

he asked me why...

i answer back..so i can fly freely....

free frm everything....

from him, from family...
from cant be trusted friends and all...

yesterday..today... is the same, this couple of days!!!

pick up the pieces nw!!!

be strong!!

and... face reality!!!
ONE FINE DAY...

ONE FINE DAY...

i wanna blog..but the pain is killing me...

ps: do u know i fucking miss u so much...

and pls take care..for time being.. i need my own space..
i just chatted wif u..

online using ur ipod somewhere wif ur fren..

haiz...

maybe we will meet this sat ok...

ok yes...

the girl, on suria...wearing a green sleeveless is me...

but i didnt know la..that the drama atas heights is out...

hehehe..
didnt manage to see myself on tv...

but..hey i saw our names!!!!

mus

ana

khai
nazren

me

neng...

all full name sia!!! laypark!!!!

wakakakaka!!!!!!
maybe next episod...

or next 2 week...

i dunno...

the pub shot...

to those that msg me.yes.thanks for the info...pls dun laugh...bad hairday!

why now...
why after 18 months...

why didnt you think abt all this wen you say, lets break up..
why????

i dunno who i can go to right now..

my heart yearning to be with him..not you...

yes i do miss you...but why now, why wen i badly need you in my life..

u walk away... why???

who can answer that now....
only you have the ans...

and you still blame me for everything!!!!

no i dont want to be with you...

i want to be with him... the guy u saw on my hp wallpaper...
last night gonna be the last time...

no more after this, even if you plan for more meet up....

no regrets, even tho i once told my friends, you are one of the guy i really love...

but, today... i realise... its no longer you...

theres no more love for you...

i only miss you..

NO I CANNOT BE EMO...

ARGH!!!

YOU ARE MAKING ME CRAZY...

AND DRIVING HIM AWAY FRM MY LIFE...

ok enuff... i dont wanna cry...

to my scandal...

you...i miss you so much...

ok this is major issue!!!!
my cousin nick...

it's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside...........
im standing here but all i want is to be over there............

and shes juz 8 years old..hello!!!!
wat is she thinking about????? omg... and my nick is frm some japan and english song...
omg...what the hack sia....

ok i change back to laptop and have to edit my post...
i hack to my cousin acc..and chatted wif my sis...

and check his contact list..oh cousin...

im sorry...

but fyi, im the best cousin on earth...

moral of the story..pls logout after using!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MY DEAREST ADK HAFIZ!!!
KAKAK LOVE YOU!!!

wat the hell!!!! hafiz...stop calling me kakak...we the same age now!!!
and...u look like erm... ok la...hot gak...but boleh ke buat keje office??
all the best ok, hafiz...for ur attachment...
and, sorry no bday present...
one day, we shall go out and have fun...
i wanna meet the rest of amigos too....
may god bless you...
lots of love frm me!!!
and i miss talking to u...dun sleep that early la..
call me la...giler!



argh!!!! i got to wake up few ppl today..but i myself woke up late..gosh...
at 11.46 am, damn...i was like, oh shit im late to go ite bishan..mampus!!
i have this habit of waking up at 11.46am... wenever theres event to attend to...
but while getting ready..scorpiogal msg me, and told me..the organizers need ppl that are 17 and below... ok..im 20.. so cancel la...

so back to original plan...go nenek hse...
and right now, im at my granny hse... surfing the net using the desktop...and i can only say one thing... this desktop needs a servicing!!! coz its damn...SLOW...
not fun for facebooking and all... so i decided to blog and msn only...
and i swear...this desktop is getting on my nerve...
haaaadddoooooookkkkkeeeennnnn!!!
*dragon ballz

and yes...now, i curi2 my parents ezlink to go out...coz they got abt 50bucks in it..
and my ezlink is now adult fare... i got no money to top up!!
wakakakaka...kes really takde duit....
and my dad is really becoming a bitch, wen he found out i did that...
he told me this, go use ur nenek ezlink la...senior citizen fare..very cheap!
wth dad...wats wrong with u???

MY HOROSCOPE!!!!

The Bottom Line
Be more objective about what's going on in your life. See things for what they are.

In Detail
Do a little personal inventory of your life today and try to be objective about it. Sort through your friends, family, romance, and work goals to see what (or who) really needs your attention. It's very important to remove your emotions from the evaluation -- don't think about what you wish was working well, look at what is actually working well. And then look objectively at what is genuinely not working well. Start working on making that a bigger priority. You'll figure out how to make it better!

hmmmmmmm....its true...n scary!!!!
weeeeeeee...today i had so much fun!!! lizzie!!!!!!!!!! and alee....
damn....we are 3 crazy ppl.....sorry to the mat at samuel and kalvin.... coz i ignore u...hahahaha
evn tho u are hot!!! wakakaka....
and alee.... now we know why schumacher retire...hahahaha..
and lizzie!!! i loving the pornstar jacket u gave me!! omg...


oh yes....guess wat...
he told me this... wen i called him...and said this...
you... i miss u so much...
" i know u miss me so much, even tho u never told me...
i cud see it so clear, u miss me"

damn! my eyes cant lie!!!!!
yes scandal!!!! i miss u so much that, i bought the perfume!! and now.. i miss you even more....
haha.... and thanks for everything...
je t'aime!
wateva!!!!

and u juz called me!!! (ringtone lelaki ini) gosh!!!! pwease sing me that song again! evry night!!
help im melting!!!!! oh yes.. we need to go karaoke again right!! come plan...end of this month??
smiles :)
3 mins, but the smile last the whole night... i hope god ans my prayers!!!!


I WILL POST SOME PICS NEXT!!!

somo demo ichiokunin kara, kimi wo mitsuketa yo...
yet out of a hundred million people,i found you... (i really mean this to him)

from konayuki means powdered snow

but today...
let you guys read and try to understand this song ok...
from ungu... cinta dalam hati....

mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa dicintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kaupun bahagia
dalam hidupmu
dalam hidupmu

telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku mencintaimu
pun adalah bahagia untukku
bahagia untukku

kuingin kau tau diriku disini
menanti dirimu meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktu ku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan slamat tinggal untuk slamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja


why ungu songs are all very sad??
but meaningful!! or shall i say...each song have a story behind it...for me??

kekasih gelapku- full moon... till now!!!!!
tercipta untukku, cinta dalam hati - Scandal??
untukmu selamanya- hmmmm my ex?? use to...

look at my hp wallpaper, gosh... i feel like inventing a time machine, so i can go back to 1st april...
and enjoy the happiness i had wen i hav some1 beside me...laughing at my stupid jokes...
listening to all my stories... and see me fall asleep... gosh.... all this are memories now... something i can juz remember and smile at..but can no longer feel the happiness again....coz...
its O.V.E.R!! I GIVE UP!!! YES...GIVE UP... ok i dunno!!

and yes... my hate list is growing!!!haiz...

GREETINGS!!!!

hmmm, its 2.13am...
life still the same...
im sorry to certain ppl...especially farrah (sorry sayang)
busy with some stuff (work and stuff)
i dont have time to meet and alll...
*farrah.. we will meet one day ok...just you and me...

im still sick...
i cant eat... (I HATE FOOD) have to force myself to eat...
have to tahan few people nagging at me
dad and him...
aiyo.... whatever is...i love you both

and my scandal...is like...no longer my scandal...
haiz.... things change...
i can no longer change it back to normal after last thursday...
its better... just pretend nothing happened...
and enjoy his company when he's around.. haiz....
i miss the bloody old times....
but ive been praying to god.... things will be back like how i want it to be...
no more, late night calls, no more, put me to bed songs (he sings)
maybe i was so selfish...
and maybe we didnt appreciate whats infront of us...haiz....
i still once in a while, kidnap his ipod... (which i really fall in love with) wakakaka...

btw..i miss full moon so much... things change...between me and him too... so sucks....

haiz...2008 marks a start to a complicated life for me...
and... i dunno, if im really happy or not....
some of friends makes me happy..
some i have to pretend im happy with them...
watever la...
i dunno...
i wanna sleep now... i got to wake up early later...
haiz....

oh to my lizzie... i hope you are happy with your family now!!
so guys...
tmr wake up....tell your parents and siblings you love them ok...
coz i love my dad, mum and sis so much!!!!!!!!!

the happy squirrel wif the crazy scandal!!
corinna insyirah loves her only scandal!!




hey im back..to blog about my life..
i was a happy squirrel back then...
i mean.. ever since i had him in my life....
i felt really really bless...
now im asking myself...
why it turn upside down with just a msg..
why???
why do i look like the villian when im the victim...
i trust him alot...
i mean... if in life,besides family, i only have him and farrah...
to me
its more than enuff... i dont need others..
i dunno if im regretting everything...
like you told me before...
the memories that make you sad...
now the memories makes me sad...
coz i love the memories we shared!!


i wanna be that happy squirrel!!!
u , know wats best for me...
be there when i really fucking down....
3g calls almost every night..before i sleep!
the nags i will get, if u see me online, wen im suppose to go to bed.....
im used to all that... now it change...everything change...
i dont like changes!!
real truth...it sucks now!!
i hate you....
no..... i still need you!!!
thats the truth....
i wanna the whole world to know, i didnt called you jerk!!!
and that girl was the one who msg me, she's ur girlfriend...
i still have it in my hp... and i feel like throwing my hp away...(something im capable off)
argh!!!! she called me 3times... 1missed called!
i feel so fucked up now...
i startin to hate myself....becoz of this...
you blame me..
now im asking you, are you worth the pain??
are you worth the sleepless nights???

ALL I WISH FOR... NOW
IS TO HAVE YOU BACK... AND NOT LOOK BACK!!
AND BE THE HAPPY SQUIRREL I USE TO BE...
FEELING BLESSED...
IS IT THAT HARD???
WHY I HAVE TO GO THRU ALL THIS...WEN U KNOW...
IM STILL DOWN BECOZ OF WATS GOIN ON IN MY LIFE!!!!!



to: The Scandal

I probably dont know everything about you...
Yet out of one hundred million people, I Found You!

sick since friday night...
high fever...till today!!!
scandal change to a mak nenek!!
he reminds me to take my medicine..ya da ya da..if im online... u see..
he will nags at me...
and ask me to sleep....
watever is..im bless to have him...
serious..if i dont have him... i will be damn down and keep on thinking abt the past!!!

friday, went to nanyang poly... to send the appeal letter...
early morning, me and farrah already make a fool of ourself..we were lost...
how paisey that can be!!!
on wednesday i already sesat at my own hse area!!!
this is serious issue man!!!!

after that.. we went to mdis and bmc to check hw much we need to pay for private diploma course...
met scandal at plaza singapura starbucks... and guess what... farrah and scandal are like cats and dogs!! i juz laugh at them.....
hahaha... serious.... they make me laugh and smile.. i love them!!!
hahaha... recall back wat happened makes me smile...funny!!!!
ok.... thats all for now...maybe another update this thursday!! see ya soon!!!!

this is what i realise..
CLOSE/BEST FRIEND can be your BEST enemy..
its true... its damn true.. sometimes you dont realise they are pretenders..
they just want something from you...
i know everything now...
maybe not from her mouth.. but it explains everything!!
oh no.. i should confront her.. but hey.. im sick and tired with all this nonsense..
i already deleted her no and the rest.. i dont need this people in my life..
one thing, i dont owe anyone for a living..

and one day..im going to ask her why she do all this??
why cant all of them tell me??
shud i blame them for everything...

ok, seriously i feel betrayed!!!!!
read that guys BETRAYED!!!!!!!!!
and, i was not the one that bustard my own best friend...
before you said anything, please go advice urself first, before giving us long advices...
now i know whats the reason behind it...


God knows what the best for me..
im bless to hav farrah and my scandal with me...
and thanks to them for the night conference call...
tmr, hopefully scandal can make it..follow us... please dear...ikut me and farrah!!!
i badly wanna kidnap your ipod touch again..becoz of ur ipod, we miss 3 buses!! wth!!
i enjoy every single minute we spend.. and... we need more pics!!!! hahaha... my MAPLE SYRUP GUY!!!
next, go get urself a psp..so i can have ur ipod touch..

happy birthday kadir!!!
happy 29th anniversary to my parents!!!!

and to my adk hafiz!!!!
kakak hanis is missing u liao.... ur my heart video clip was super insane la!!! and i dont need dayaks ok!!! hahahahahahaha

RESULT WILL BE OUT IN 7 HRS TIME!! DAMN... NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!!! WAKAKAKAKA

my horoscope...

Why are you looking behind you? Thinking about what has already happened is a waste of your time, and a waste of your energy. What's done is done. Today, turn to face forward and look at what is ahead of you -- there's a lot to be done, and you can do it well. Have faith in yourself -- everyone else has faith in you. Advance on a project (any project) today, and give yourself something to check off your list. Standing in one spot, wondering if you just made a mistake, is silly.

ITS TRUE!!!

ok.... today i spent like... the wholeday at.... terminal 3!! yup.. last week went wif the gangs.. today... its some1... crazy... we had alot alot of fun!!!!!!!!
we finally ate at popeye!! yipee...juz the 2 of us.. and i think... we talk alot... yes.. alot... hope we can stand on both feet after this aite...

LAST SUNDAY!! I WENT TO PADANG ALONE!! GET IT STRAIGHT!!! ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!
YES....i took, abt 8 videos and and abt 100 pics...will upload on facebook!!!
took pics wif PAULA MALAI ALI, maclaren mercedes pit crew, he's hot btw!!!! and.... mika hakkinen is juz one arm length away frm me!! gosh!!!! hahahahahaaha!!! hw lucky i was!!!!
ok guys.. thats allll......